Let's Start at the Very Beginning

I'm not great at first blog posts. I’ve had so many blogs over the years that I’ve abandoned or deleted due to inactivity or irrelevance…but I hope to keep this one around for awhile.  I dislike these first entries  because I never know what to write. Should I introduce myself or isn’t that what an “about me” section is for? It feels silly to introduce myself to a computer–when I know I have no current followers. But then–how do I start? Should I just write what I’m thinking or give an introduction to my current situation?…So, in the words of Julie Andrews I think I will just “start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.”

My name is Laura. I just graduated in May with a degree in Public Relations. I am about to start a P/T job as receptionist until I move to Orlando in August. To learn a bit more about who I am–let me get to the point of this post. As I was going through some of my old things the other day while cleaning, I came across my high school yearbook from senior year. I opened it gently and started to read the messages written to me by some of my friends and teachers…and to be honest, the messages kind of took me by surprise.

Let’s go back a second.  Public relations was not always my major of choice. Throughout my 4 years of high school I had studied theatre and music. I started freshman year working the concession stands for our fall play and worked my way up through the years doing stage management, publicity, producing, directing, ensemble acting…and gradually moved up to supporting lead. This was my junior year of high school, when I was also elected vice president and then president senior year of the Thespian club. Then, senior year of high school, when it mattered most, when I wanted it more than anything, I got the lead role of Jo March in our school’s production of Little Women: The Musical. Playing Jo was the role of a lifetime, and I put my entire heart and soul into that production. And my heart was set on acting for life…I wanted to feel this passion always. This “fire within me” burned bright, and I couldn’t control the blaze. Which now takes me back  to the inscriptions in my yearbook…

I think it best if I just type out everything that was said–changing names of course. My drama teacher and mentor wrote: “You have made me so very proud, tackling new challenges, overcoming your fears, fighting for what you believe in. Always believe you can do it!”
My best friend wrote: “You have been such an amazing/strong/powerful/ fantastic influence in my life. I can’t explain to you how talented you are and how proud I am of all you have accomplished. I expect to see you in a playbill somewhere i n the future.”
An enemy turned friend wrote: “You’re awesome. You have such an amazing personality and your smile is contagious. You were amazing in Little Women and I hope you continue acting.”
And a dear friend wrote:  ”You are one of the most talented people I know. If I can leave you with one piece of advice it would be: follow your heart and do what you love.”
One friend who had graduated before me wrote: ” I am jealous of the track ahead of you. Never let anyone steal your spirit. It is so beautiful!Determination, courage, and heart are hard to find nowadays and those are your greatest strengths. I wish you were going to my college so I could be there as you rise to glory, as I know you will. Be true to yourself. @#$* society! Make your own universe! I am one of your biggest fans and I hope to see you succeed. I can never forget you. You rock.”

Though these words are deeply touching, they had long been forgotten until I reopened the book. I read and re-read the notes thinking, “were these words actually written about me?” I don’t really remember that person anymore. I’d like to think that I still have a good personality, and my smile hasn’t changed much, but I don’t smile as often.

I feel a lot like the heroine I once portrayed, Jo March. She was so bent on writing her stories and keeping her family together. As she grew up and became introduced to some of the harsh realities of the world, there was a point in her life where all seemed lost, and her spirit was nearly broken. Unlike Jo, however, I’m still at that point. I haven’t pushed through that plateau.

Without the direction and guidence of my high school mentor, acting in college became a challenge and a chore. I partially blame my quitting on the favoritism in the program (which plenty of people agree with me on) but the other part was my lack of faith in myself. I was starting new and highly impressionable, and when I didn’t get that first and second callback, I lost hope. The flame started to die out…and I was faced with a tough decision and not enough time to make it. Stay in theatre and risk never being good enough? Or choose a different major while there was still time to graduate in 4 years–and become safe? Given my discouragement and my quest to be successful, I left my passion, and I lost part of me that day.

I still perform but nowhere near as strongly as I once did. I love to sing but I don’t practice and my voice is not what it used to be. I haven’t acted in anything serious since freshman year. I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to perform for a sold-out audience. The memories of standing ovations, orchestra warmups, vocal warmups, mic checks, quick changes and intermissions are starting to feel more like stories I’ve heard from others than my own memories.

 I’d like to try to get the spark back in me. I want to fight for what I believe in, I want to re-ignite the passion within. I want to fix my broken spirit and regain my determination, courage, and heart.

In the words of Jo March (Astonishing Lyrics):
” Here I go and there’s no turning back. My great adventure has begun. I may be small but I’ve got giant plans to shine as brightly as the sun. I will blaze until I find my time and place. I will be fearless, surrendering modesty and grace. I will not disappear without a trace. I’ll shout and start a riot. Be anything but quiet. Christopher Columbus! I’ll be astonishing, astonishing, ASTONISHING at last!”

So, with this new attitude put into place, and encouragement from my friends and family, I decided to to start to pursue a career with the one company I've dreamed of working with since as long as I can remember, Disney! I applied for the Disney College Program to get my foot in the door and gain the experience of a lifetime, and I was accepted! Finally, I felt that spark in me beginning to reignite. Since I was a little girl, I've held the stories of Disney heroines like Ariel, Belle, Pocahontas, and more near and dear to my heart.  And now more than ever, I relate to them. I want to be part of Disney World. To be a part of the "Tale as Old as Time." I know adventure is waiting for me "Just Around the Riverbend" and I'm so excited.

I start the program in August doing Attractions and I'm counting down the days. I know the road will be long and hard. I know I will be working a lot of hours for minimum wage, but none of that matters. I'm estactic to just be a part of the magic, to get my foot in the door, and to work for the Mouse. I know with persistance and dedication, I have the ability to make my own dreams and wishes come true! :)

P.S-I know this post was extremely long, I promise they will not be nearly as long in the future. Be sure to check out the blog often, as I will be posting updates, videos and audio recordings.